I was not supposed to see this message….
On Saturday I had posted some video updates regarding how I was feeling. Since Thursday I haven’t felt right and I’m always super transparent and open on my insta with my friends, yes, I think of my followers as friends. I started showing signs that I could potentially have Covid-19 and I was keeping my followers up to date and how I was doing. Yes, I was speaking out, sick and scared and never expected to see the above message.
I woke up Sunday morning and saw that I had received a message in my “other” folder. I opened it and the screenshot above was what I read.
She said, “For her to charge all that money, she needs to get her teeth fixed”. At first I was a little confused, is she speaking to me? Then I realized that she meant to forward that to someone else but instead she replied and it was sent to me!
This person does not personally know me, I’m asking for prayers because I am scared that I might have Covid-19 and she just sees my not so perfect teeth? And, she wants to get her friend in on talking about how I make so much money (she has no idea about my business) and that I should fix my teeth. And after looking at her account I found that she is a podcaster and has a youtube channel and even had some posts about women empowerment. Hmmmm.
This just made me so incredibly sad and convicted, because how many times have I done the same thing. Instead of seeing someone’s heart or suffering, we pick apart their personal appearance and drag others into the conversation. But, what we really should be doing is fixing that crown and not telling the world that it was crooked.
I’m not new to hurtful comments, when you have a large following it’s bound to happen. Usually I just delete and block, maybe I share it with my husband or friends but usually it doesn’t bother me at all, but this one did. And why? Because I was never intended to see it. It wasn’t supposed to be a reply but a forward.
I’m a “learn a lesson from every bad thing that happens” person so I immediately started thinking of what good could come from this. I mean, first of all, she doesn’t know my story.
She doesn’t know that my photography and coaching/education business completely supports our family. My husband quit his corporate job and came to work with me for his health (he suffers from Crohn’s disease) and to be there for our daughter (who has Autism) so things are stable at home when I travel.
She doesn’t know that my teeth were totally fine until a few years ago when my jawline started shifting because I have really bad TMJ but it was more important for me to spend the money on my son’s teeth because he had an enamel deficiency and I didn’t want him to be embarrassed when he went away to college.
She doesn’t know that it’s more important for us to send our son through college without student loans than for me to appease my vanity and spend thousands of dollars on my teeth.
Oh and the reason why I charge the way I do, is so that I can cut back from photographing 30-40 weddings a year because it was literally killing me slowly and taking such a toll on my health and my relationships.
But guess what friends….this happens daily on social media. People will never say to you in person what they say behind your back. We have a big problem in this world and I want to do something about it.
I’m inviting you to join The Fix Her Crown Society. Now what exactly is this?
I have NO IDEA…yet.
But the purpose is for women to pledge to support each other instead of tearing each other down. Like the quote, “Be the woman who fixes another woman’s crown without telling the world it was crooked” (credit unknown)
I have been given a platform. I have over 50K of you following me. Just think what could happen if this could go viral (it can if you share it on social media) and we could have members of The Fix her Crown Society all over the world. I envision chapters set up all over with monthly in person and online meetings set on empowering and showing women just how amazing they are. I see a big conference/retreat where we come together to build each other up. I see myself and other photographers taking on passion projects to photograph women wearing their crown.
What a difference we could make in so many lives. Who’s with me? This wasn’t a mistake that I received this message. It was meant for bigger things. And if this does take off, I will need your help!
Women are suffering so much. Did you know that women are 50% more likely to suffer depression than a man. And I’m afraid that with our current circumstances this could go up even more. Social media has created a monster and even though it can be used for good (like I’m hoping this will) it can also be a breeding ground for bullying.
We as women need to be shown that we are indeed the most beautiful creatures in the world, just as God intended us to be. He doesn’t look at our imperfections, He sees us “wonderfully and fearfully made” and we should look at others in the same way. Stop with the tearing down, the comparison games, and letting jealousy win. Let’s pull together friends and fix those crowns.
Want to know more as we develop this concept? Follow me @juliepaisley and @thefixhercrownsociety on Instagram and CLICK HERE to be on our email list.
I have no idea what will come of this. Maybe it will only make us more aware of how we talk about others or maybe it could be something big. Regardless, we need to change and I hope you join me. Please contact me if you have ideas or want to be involved!